"Sex lies and.... Music Channels"

I would like to profusely thank Ms.****** for taking on the role of our moral custodian, filing a PIL and dragging the judiciary to ban all my favourite movie channels. Thanks to her efforts I am left with watching music channels (since I am not much interested in sports or news) with all its "non adult" content.

Music videos have the morally upright and clean content which is fit for children to watch along with their parents. After all watching sexy bombshells competing to do raunchier dance numbers with their clothes getting skimpier day by day seems to be much better than watching movies like Mrs. Doubtfire or A Beautiful Mind. A few beautiful kissing scenes between couples, where the script demands, in movies are definitely more vulgar than these item numbers where skin show is to such an extent that little is left for imagination.

As far as the shows like Desperate Housewives and Sex and the City are concerned then the broadcasters take care to screen them after 10. Shouldn't that be way past the bed time of school kids? Why only target these shows? As if the story lines of our so called "rooted in indian culture" saas-bahu serials are any better. There is blatant adultery, sleeping around, extra marital affairs and seduction in almost every show. The costumes have necklines deeper than the Mariana Trench showing ample skin (I dare not use the word "cleaveage" lest they should censor it).

Do they really think that kids get their dose of porn from Television? All I can say is I pity them for their ignorance. Anyways the good news is that I've been offered a position at a startup firm called Vistaar and in all probability I'll be joining from September, 1. Hopefully this would leave me with very less time to while away in front of the Idiot Box.

"Held at Ransom..."

This is exactly what it looks like. The police have confiscated the decoders from the cable operators and they in retaliation have blackened out all the channels. Where does that leave us consumers? We always get the short end of the stick in such situations. Almost everyone pays the annual subscription (in advance), so the cable operators are least bothered even if they don't provide the service for a few days. The police have made the cable operators the scapegoats to avoid the wrath of the judiciary. And the judiciary in its attempt to deliver justice had passed an order with no detailed instructions and specifications. The end result of all this is that its been snowing (at least on the television sets) in Mumbai from the past few days.

All this has thrust us back to the days when Doordarshan was the only channel available. What the judiciary seems to have overlooked is the fact that all television sets come with a remote or an alternate mechanism to change channels. God has been generous enough to bless mankind with the ability to make decisions and choose what is good and bad. If the lady who filed the public interest litigation is unable to control what her children watch then thats a problem she has to solve on her own (or other parents in such situations). Blackening out the entire entertainment channels is clearly not the answer.

What we watch on TV is our own concious decision. If a channel is screening adult films, then we do have the option of changing the channel (when else would an option of more than 100 channels come in handy) or switching it off. Nobody is forcing you to view such films or channels. Plus whatever happens is in the closed confines of one's house so why should anyone else be bothered about what goes on. The fact that such films are being screened clearly indicates that there is a demand from the viewers. Why infringe on their freedom just to hide your inability to deal with such reality?

"Freedom means..."

"Freedom means the liberty to pee anywhere I wish." This is exactly what I heard a young chap blurt out on stage at a youth meet some time back. I don't know whether it was his irreverence or total ignorance that made him state this but I am sure if our freedom fighters heard this they would turn over in their graves. Do we really take our freedom and security for granted? Our jawans bear the extreme conditions and put their lives on the line everyday for ensuring our way of life and is this how we repay them, by being totally selfish without even a hint of gratitude.

Over the period of time the meaning of freedom has undergone a lot of change. There was once a time when freedom was more than an ideology. The entire nation was united and ready to die for it. But today it means a politician can siphon off hundreds of crores of the tax payers money in scams and still enjoy z category security (which ironically the same tax payers pay for). Unfortunately the law never catches up with them and they die their natural deaths only to be buried with full national honours. The money sadly is never recovered.

We must never forget that along with freedom comes responsibilities. Exercising one's freedom shouldn't include denying someone else's. The best part about freedom is that I am able to put this in front of you all with no fear. Jai Hind.

"Customer Service"

This is a condensed version of my week gone by (including the misery)...

Friday: I've got the first call from amdocs' recruitment agency and they need me to mail them my marks breakup (very urgent). I get disconnected from the net the second time in the night and the only way to get back online is to restart my PC (yeah this is a peculiar problem with a broadband net connection only I seem to be facing). Since its already 2 am, I sms the friend with whom I was chatting about the situation and doze off.

Saturday: I try to get online but no luck. I call up my service provider only to be greeted with a constantly ringing phone or a busy tone. This continues throughout the day. Still no luck.

Sunday: Its friendship day today. I get up in the morning with an upset stomach. As the day progresses I develop a 101 degree fever. With all the energy sapped out I still make one last ditch attempt to get online, no luck.

Monday: The rain gods have been generous and the trend seems to continue today also. I finally manage to get through on the telephone with my net provider. When I tell the lady that my connection has been down from saturday she yells at me for not calling them before. I am assured an engineer will come by and she takes down my address and telephone number. Its evening now, still no sign of the engineer nor is my connection up. I call her up again, this time she informs me about how they can't get hold of a key to a terrace to check a switch in the network and assures me that the work will be done by tomorrow morning. Again she notes down my details.

Tuesday: There seems to be a break in the incessant rains. I decide to college to complete some formalities. Later we go to a restaurant nearby to celebrate a friend's b'day. The rains have started again, I decide its wiser to head back home and jump into a bus. I reach home with a hope of getting online. No luck. Exasperated I revive my analog modem which had been in exile from the past 3 years. Installation was a breeze, everything was working except for the fact that it was taking forever to load a page and then there were the frequent disconnections to deal with. I give up. There is no use calling my net provider coz their working hours are from 11 to 7 (can you believe that...phew)

Wednesday: I am pissed off. I call them up and this time my tone means business. I am greeted by a male voice (a happy relief from those stupid females who don't seem to know a thing and keep jotting down my details) and he can't seem to believe what I am telling him. He too promises to send an engineer by. I tell him I've heard this lots of time and no one comes by. He assures me there will be someone here in an hour. To my utter disbelief there was indeed an engineer (not one but two) at my doorstep within the stipulated time. He told me that the switch in my building needs to be replaced and that the connection should be up by evening. Its 5 and still no luck. I call up again, they tell me they've replaced the faulty device. Well I tell them the connection is still down. I am promised service within half an hour and surprisingly it happens. After a lot of running up and down, they manage to get it working. I send them off with a thanks.

For the first time is 3 years have I been provided with prompt service from my service provider. Usually the network has no problems (the customer support sucks) but then when it does develop a snag, it takes forever to rectify it. I still remember once I had to wait for over a month (that too during the vacations) when all they had to do was replace a switch in the neighbouring building (they didn't realise this because inspite of the promises the engineers never came).

So this prompt service comes as a welcome relief and a surprise. I hope they could and would read this to understand how much trouble it caused me and how much I appreciate what they did today. I hope they keep up the good work.

"The Green Eyed Monster..."

Have you ever observed a burning log? When you ignite the sparks, it catches fire and you seem to enjoy the warmth it provides. You slowly realize the log is turning into charcoal and you put off the fire. This charcoal can again be set on fire but then it reduces into ash. Once you've got ash there is nothing you can do with it.

Jealousy is very commonly used to bring out inner emotions and spark some fire into relationships. What one needs to remember is that just as the log turns into ash so does the human nature undergo transformations. Once it turns into ash you cannot obtain the old log back. You are gonna get your fingers burnt when playing with fire. So beware of the green eyed monster!

"Redemption... at last!"

Yup, I am officially a Computer Engineer now (at least academically if not professionally). For me this is the end of my long lasting college life (no more further studies). I won't claim to be absolutely ready to enter the big bad corporate world but yeah I am ready to test the waters. It feels so good to be out of the college but then I'll definitely miss it a lot. To all my friends reading this, I have a humble request, keep doing so and stay in touch. 

"Yet another demon slain"

 Yeah you heard that right, I've, by God's grace, slain another demon. What else would you call something that just doesn't let go of you, no matter how hard you try it always comes back to haunt you. Thats what Maths 5 was for me.

This subject can be very deceiving, it looks so simple just simple statistics and stuff. But when the paper comes you don't seem to understand what to do. You start forgetting formulas or as in my case, interchange them. You try to maintain your calm but when you realise that time is against you, you panic.

Even after the paper is over the suffering doesn't end there. Till the results come out you left hanging between the devil and the sea. Finally when the verdict is out you are in a state of disbelief. God has finally taken heed of all your prayers and granted you victory. Relax but be on gaurd, you never know when the next one will rear his ugly head.

"Resume... Whew!"

I never thought writing a resume would be so challenging. After spending 23 years on this planet with 18 years spent in education you think one would have enough material to fill a telephone directory. Think again coz I barely managed to fill two pages. As an afterthought it is better to keep it short and sweet (others don't have enough time to read unnecessary details about you) and to the point.

How do you make yourself presentable on paper? When it comes to selling myself, I fail miserably. Thats one of the reasons why I still have to depend on my bro to get my comp upgraded coz I just don't have the skills (or the patience) needed to convince my Dad to shell out the moolah.

And why do experts keep on suggesting to remove the "I" from your resume. I understand that using too much I's in the resume will make me look like a strong selfish individual with no regard for teamwork (so much for the psycho babble). But its MY resume and it should be about ME. There are only so many ways in which you can rephrase the use of I in a sentence. Writing a resume really tests your skills at rephrasing. Trust me on this one.



 

"Don't mess with us"

 Why don't these so called terrorists take a hint and leave us Mumbaikars alone. How many times do we have to prove our mettle and show them that their tactics don't stand a chance when it comes to breaking our indomitable spirit. Sure they managed to bring the Western Railway services in the city to a halt (shedding lots of innocent blood in the process... May God have mercy on their souls) but then people here didn't panic and take off instead they risked their lives and helped the victims first (and the world has the nerve to label us rude).

I'm sure when the services resume (probably today it might have), people won't even think twice before getting into the first class compartments and get to work. Mumbai is a city that goes on forward. No matter what transpires, the city and its people bounce right back.

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder"

I am not quite sure whether it is absence or distance but then both have the same effect. Why is it that we tend to value people more once they are gone? Why do we reminisce the good times we shared when they are not near but bicker about anything and everything when they are? It's a common known fact that works of art fetch greater value (running into lakhs and crores) when the artist is dead, whereas he would have have died of poverty coz he couldn't manage to sell even one of his works.

Why can't we cherish our loved ones when they are right here with us? Why can't we leave all our bindings and just live the moment? Why is it that we realize true love only when we bid farewell? I know these a lot of unanswered questions and frankly speaking I have no clue. But then if I had all the answers what would be the point of living? Life is a journey, we learn along the way right till the very end.

"Rain rain go away, Come again another day."

Rains are back and with a vengence. That might be too harsh a word to use but the fact is that after 26th July 2005 the people of Mumbai (including me) are psyched out. The rains received so far are well within the normal limits considering the previous years, but the effects are worse. People have become more cautious. Even at the slightest hint of heavy rain, they don't prefer to get out of their homes. Schools, colleges, offices and other institutions close shop early.

But then one fact still exists, the problem of water logging due to infrastructure planning without foresight has started to cripple Mumbai like never before. The city with a "never say die" attitude has started to think twice. What can they do when the very life-line of the city, the railways, starts limping. Population will keep on increasing. The railways have already gone way past their intended maximum capacity.

Its high time we start investing some thought and lots of money in setting up alternative modes of public transport. Mumbai Metro is a start in the right direction but it has to be completed much more faster (35 years is ridiculous) in order to provide us with value for money.

Till that time, think smart and stay safe. 

"Mumbai Metro is coming our way!"

 Woo hoo! Finally after years of speculation and anticipation, the first stone has been laid for the ambitious Mumbai Metro Project. Even if all goes well (lets really hope so) it will take at least 2 more years (thats the official estimate) before the first phase is completed.

Metro master-plan

* Phase I
Colaba-Andheri-Charkop: 38.24 km
Bandra-Kurla-Mankhurd: 13.37 km

* Phase II
Charkop-Dahisar: 7.5 km
Ghatkopar-Mulund: 12.4 km

* Phase III
Bandra-Kurla Complex to Kanjurmarg via the
Airport: 19.5 km
Andheri (East)-Dahisar (East):18 km
Hutatma Chowk- Ghatkopar: 21.8 km
Sewri-Prabhadevi: 3.5 km

The transition period is going to be really tough. The roads are gonna be dug up again resulting into traffic snarls. Lets just hope that when the project is completed travel within the city is eased up a bit. But just the metro isn't gonna solve all our problems. Simultaneously we should improve our existing railways and public bus transport. These 3 should complement each other.

Another ambitious project still to be completely realised is the Bandra Worli Sealink. The hovercraft project was started a few years back but then I guess it was a few years ahead of its time and it failed to take off as expected. But now with the metro around the corner it would be the right time to give the hovercraft another shot.

"Raindrops are falling on my head"

The monsoon has arrived in Mumbai although a bit early this time. The rains arouse mixed reactions among the people. We have sort of a love-hate kind of a relationship with the rains.

We love it for giving us respite from the scorching summer months, for filling up the water bodies which ensure smooth water supply through out the year, for the fresh smell of wet earth, the grilled corn (bhutta) with the roadside vendor, the idyllic afternoons spent at home sipping tea along with piping hot bhajiyas (personally I don't drink tea or coffee but I love the bhajiyas). We love the rains and it is the perfect time to spend some quality time with your loved ones. Going for long drives to scenic waterfalls surrounded by lush mountains tops my list.

But then we equally hate it when the trains are late and the roads are filled with muddy potholes. We hate being in damp clothes (although getting wet in the rains is a thoroughly enjoyable experience) not to mention travelling in crowded local trains, getting late for appointments, the vehicles passing by splashing muddy water all around, etc. The rains have a peculiar knack of showing up exactly when we leave our house and stopping when we reach our destination and vice-versa.

When we are tucked away safely in our houses shielded from the rain and the wind, we tend to enjoy it. But what about the people who live on the streets of Mumbai. They have no shelter to protect them from the lashing rains or the howling winds. What about the fishermen who risk their very lives in the choppy seas to earn a living. What about the building collapses and the water borne diseases that plague us. We tend to look away from these harsh realities of life.

Like any other stuff, Monsoons too have their share of good and bad things for us. Life is too short too be spent cribbing and complaining, so enjoy it as much as you can. 

"Road Manners in India - A distant dream"

The other day our Prime Minister commented that building good roads alone ain't enough, it should be complemented with better road manners. I thoroughly agree with him. In India Road manners are virtually non existent. As with any other case, there is no one single party to be blamed.

The RTO officials are corrupt only because we are ready to bribe them. How else could I manage to get a license at the age of 16 (the official age here is still 18 unlike most of the western countries) without so much as even giving a driving test (the officer just asked for my name and that was it).

The so called Driving schools are a scam. They don't teach you about lane discipline, how to parallel park...heck I didn't use the reverse gear even once during the entire duration of the course (which by the way is 1 month). Sometimes they are not even bothered whether you really know to drive or not, but you will get your license as long as you pay up their fee.

The infrastructure in most parts of india really isn't meant to observe road manners. The signals don't work most of the times so do the street lights, there are no lane markings and no crosswalks. The pedestrians occupy the roads since hawkers occupy the sidewalks (if there are any). The pedestrians don't give a shit about the motorists and the motorists reciprocate the gesture. It may sound funny but I was on my bike and suffered a minor wrist injury because a man, blindly crossing the road to catch a bus, dashed into me instead of being the other way round.

Truckers on the highways are much well behaved inspite of being illiterate, its the spoilt rich brats in their flashy cars who cause all the mayhem. Autorickshaw drivers are in a league of their own. They'll cut in front of you, make U-turns, stop in the middle of the road without a warning. I won't even start with the incessant use of the horn (very irritating).

But then all this has its (sort of) plus points too. Where else can you drive without the fear of being pulled over by cops for speeding. Burn rubber on the highway, weaving in and out of traffic as if you are runnning a race. My brother used to drive here in India but being used to the US roads he now shudders at the very thought of taking over the wheel here.

Before leaving I would like to mention that road infrastructure is being improved to world class levels on the major highways and the newly planned cities. Its just us people who have to catch up. 

"Is Mumbai really rude?"

I for one don't think that Mumbai is rude or very polite either for that matter. It treats you the way you treat it. Its just a matter of "as you sow, so shall you reap". Mumbai can be indifferent and apathetic at times but really generous and selfless at other times. The never say die attitude is typical of Mumbaikars and it makes Mumbai the wonderful city it is. It welcomes every one with open arms. For every cheat in mumbai we will find atleast 10 honest people.

Its really unfair to measure Mumbai by western standards coz our culture is totally different. First of all english is not our mother tongue and we aren't raised according to their culture. So forgive me for supporting the mumbaikars who don't mind their P's and Q's. Its the warmth and love that these people have to offer that counts. Which other country lives by the saying "Atithi devo bhava" (The guest is an incarnation of God).

And to top it all New York is supposed to be the most polite city in the world according to these so called researchers. Do I need to present any more arguments in punching a hole in the credibility of the report? I really don't think so. I rest my case. Its upto you to decide. 

"15 seconds of fame"

People are ready to do anything (and I mean ansolutely anything) for their 15 seconds of fame. There is no limit to how low they can stoop to achieve it. All this for what, to share a bit of the limelight only to be pushed into the darkness of obscurity when someone else comes up with something even more scandalous.

Case in point is the recent ruckus created by one Miss Rakhi Sawant. It seems as if this girl and scandals are inseperable. No longer does she get out of one than she steps right into another. I won't elaborate on this coz the media has already discussed it more than required. One look at the series of photographs and any sensible person with a little bit of common sense can understand that it is nothing more than a cheap publicity stunt. The female was, shall I say, over friendly with him.

There were a lot of factors in play the item girl tag, the booze, the media, etc But this does not justify whatever he did. He should have been smarter (I think he is smart considering the amount of publicity they got). Now Miss Rakhi Sawant forgot the saying "What goes around comes around". A few months earlier she had caught someone else by surprise and kissed that person. But then it was a female and she didn't press charges. That female later on went to declare that it was sudden and she felt embarrased. Although the pictures show her puckering up and kissing with her eyes close (what a surprise).

What surprises me though is the extensive media coverage provided. For one entire week I couldn't go through any news report, paper or magazines without stumbling upon this topic. Is there a dearth of serious news in this world or has the reader lost all intelligence and self respect that he has to put up with this mindless shit (please don't mind my language). Only one question comes ahead "Whatever happened to responsible journalism?" 

"Retirement...?"

How's this for irony, all through the college and exams I was actually looking towards the vacation. And now that it is finally here, I am already bored. We have been so used to our daily routine that now we don't have a reason to get up in the morning anymore. How long can one watch television? Even the movies from the previous night are repeated in the morning. Catching up with old buddies is a great idea but it too lasts just for a few days.

Is this what retirement feels like? I really gotta find something interesting to do in the meantime or I am gonna go nuts. Any suggestions?  

"Last Exam..."

 Giving the last exam arouses in us mixed feelings. You are tensed preparing for the exam and at the same time you are relieved that after this you will be free for a while. But this anticipation of the vacations can cause some trouble. Being the visionaries that we are, blessed with foresight, we often start planning stuff to do during the vacations even before the exams get over thus causing a lax in concentration. That is why we often score less marks in those papers (not necessarily true for everyone).

But giving the last paper of engineering is a whole different experience. You know that this is perhaps the last time you will be giving an academic paper. The college won't be reopening after the vacations. No more submissions and assignments (to be copied and completed at the very last minute). No more xeroxing the notes. No more bunking the lectures and hanging out in the canteen. No more doing mischief sitting at the last benches (or any other bench, in my case).

The tension (this paper can make or break your life) and the anticipation (of the future) can be nerve wrecking. I am going to miss college life a lot. But it is an experience worth remembering.

"True Friend...!!!"

A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty,

He said...no.

She asked him if he would want to be with her forever....

and he said no.

She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry,

and once again he replied with a no.

She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down

her face the boy grabbed her arm and said....

You're not pretty you're beautiful.

I don't want to be with you forever, I NEED to be with you forever.

And I wouldn't cry if you walked away...I'd die...

I got the above story from a friend of mine (it is a different case that it was a chain mail) and I thought I'ld share it with you guys. For me this story captures the two different aspects of friendship that I identify with, naughtiness and sensitivity. Inspite of the guy's blunt responses to her queries, he came through when it mattered the most (making a girl cry doesn't always necessarily mean that you are insensitive or mean).

Men always need to be tough on the outside but give them a little time and understanding and you'll come to know the real them.

"Technology and us..."

Internet is one of the greatest inventions of mankind. It has found a variety of useful purposes in almost everyfield. It wouldn't be wrong to say that it has greatly influenced the way we live and think. Almost anything and everything you need is readily available to you within a few clicks and that too free. "Free" thats a word we Indians love.

Music, we all love music and what we love even better is free music. There was a time when sites used to host music files for free downloads, but then they had to be shut down due to strain on the resources and issues with copyright infringement. Then a college kid came up with a brilliant idea and application based on P2P (peer to peer) technology called Napster. It was a big hit, so big that it made the music industry sit up and take notice. They somehow managed to crack the legal whip on such applications.

Now, the human mind comes up with the most ingenious solutions when faced with such tight situations. It was not long before we were presented with something known as "torrents". It is a wonderful protocol for file sharing of any kind and it also manages to circumvent the legal copyright infringement issues. So if you wanna download anything from the net for free (movies, music, games, ebooks, etc) then torrent is your best friend.

Download a client like Azureus, Bit Torrent or Bit Comet and log onto sites like www.thepiratebay.org, www.mininova.org or www.desitorrents.com and believe me your life will never be the same again.